"I sing because I'm happy." Surprised. Delighted. For, into the pew, there stepped Corey. And Billie. And Tom. And Jack. "Begin again. All of you. There is nothing in the past but the past."
And we prayed. And we sang. And we pushed the cobwebs out of our minds where they no longer belong.
The boys, who are now following the words with genuine reading skills, enjoyed their beloved after-service cookies and punch. Corey lit candles for his Dad and for (his mentor, father-figure, and friend) Bob, whom we lost this week. Billie received the Gift of Bread - that welcome that made me a lover of Holy Comforter on my first visit. I breathed and soaked up the goodness of the morning.
"I sing because I'm free." What was I thinking? I confessed my pettiness then and there and left it smoldering in the pew. Later, I made conversation with people whom I had been avoiding (for small reasons) for some time. I put it all behind me, praying to be a way better person going forward. "For his eye is on the sparrow and I know he watches me."
After the service, I continued to free myself from my inner dilemma. Why am I looking, searching for new volunteer opportunities and causes? "Can't you see?" I asked myself. "Your old cause IS your cause." That's when I walked up to the sign-up table in the Narthex and re-upped at the Food Pantry. "For I was hungry...."
My comeuppance came right then. It was heaven-sent and beautiful. I reached for a pen and began to write my name all over the Saturdays in May. But, when I looked down, I saw that I had written in red ink. "...and ye fed me." Yes. I smiled. My cause has not changed. Nor my calling: To try to live by the words written in the red ink.
On the other hand, inadvertently picking up the red inked pen seemed a warning - loud and clear. The red seemed to be visible all over the Narthex. It reflected in the glass. Like Hester Prynne, wearer of the (also red) A in the Scarlet Letter, I had not known the weight until it was lifted. I laid my doubts down beside my consternation. Free at last.
 |
| For His Eye is on the Sparrow and I know He watches me. |
