Just Don't Call It Portabello!

On my facebook home page, now, right this minute, there is a circulating recipe for raw, vegan "falafel" and one for lentil "tacos."

I, myself, just finished lunch. A nice, fresh onion roll. Juicy sliced local tomato. Slivers of Georgia sweet onion. Heirloom lettuce leaves. Then, I went and ruined it.

I reached in the freezer and pulled out a soy-based "portabello" burger. Mystery ingredients. May be microwaved. (shudder)

I browned this experiment as best I could in a small saute pan. I made a luscious looking sandwich. I bit. I chewed. I frowned...added a potato chip from the pantry for crunch. I chewed. Added a little more mustard.

Why are we eating this stuff? Why am I playing around with it? Why not just grill or pan-fry a real portabello? Did Julia Child teach us nothing? Just look at this real mushroom burger....

Please don't eat that mystery food. Need soy and seeds? Why not mix up a healthy shake (or something) for breakfast. Want falafel, a taco, portabello? Sounds great to make a traditional one and enjoy! The dinner meal can be just salad!

Oh. I get it. Vegans are trying to invent ways to get protein. Sad, but that's OK. Just don't pass it off as something else. Me? I'm going to have 3 ounces of wild salmon on that dinner salad. It's sockeye season!